Avyaan’s bedtime routine is a cherished ritual, where we read together from the book that rests on our bedside table. However, tonight’s story took an unexpected and serious turn. The narrative included a couple of characters meeting their end, not in a gory or frightening way, but enough to bring up one of the most challenging conversations a parent can have with their child: the topic of death.
Usually, after the story ends, Avyaan snuggles up beside us
and drifts off to sleep. Tonight, though, I noticed a pondering look in his
eyes. Then came the question that every parent dreads: “Will you and Mom die
too?”
I wasn’t prepared for this question. I don’t think anyone is.
Yet, from the moment I became a parent, I committed to being honest with my
child, even about life’s harsh realities. Taking a deep breath, I answered
truthfully: yes, everyone dies eventually, including us. My answer made him
visibly uncomfortable, and he anxiously followed up with another question.
He said, “But I don’t want you to die. I will have no
parents. Who will take care of me?” I reassured him as best I could,
telling him that, hopefully, this wouldn’t happen for a long time and that by
then he would be grown up and able to take care of himself. Although he didn’t
seem fully convinced, he finally relaxed and fell asleep. Now, I am the one
left awake, reflecting on the conversation.
I find myself questioning how to balance honesty with
comfort. How do we create a sense of security while helping our child process
difficult truths and develop resilience? Did I handle the situation the right
way? For now, Avyaan is sleeping peacefully, and I’ll consider that a success.
His questions linger in my mind. They have made me confront
my own mortality, something we all know is inevitable but often avoid thinking
about. I offered comfort in the moment, but now I wonder how we should prepare
for the future, understanding that we will not always be here for him. Love for
our children is not just found in bedtime reassurances; it is also reflected in
the practical steps we take to ensure their safety and security, no matter what
happens. This means it is time to begin the difficult conversations about
guardianship and to make legal, financial, and emotional arrangements now, so
that Avyaan will always feel loved and protected, even if the unimaginable
occurs.
In a sense, his question was a gift. It prompted me to think
not just about soothing his fears, but also about facing my own and taking
steps to ensure his future well-being.
