4 Month's Worth Mixed Bag

It has been almost a month since my last post, and close to 4 since a detailed one. So much has happened since then. A few notable days and milestones are: 

• A visit to a pumpkin patch
• Recreating Prajakta's maternity shoot photos with Avyaan
• First दशहरा 
• Prajakta's birthday and First visit to a National Park
• Transferring to a crib
• नाना नानी flying back and First Halloween
• Turning 9 months old
• Finally figuring out crawling
• First दिवाली
• First Thanksgiving and drive to Santa Barbara
• First time visiting a mall and looking at Christmas decorations
• Experiencing GLOW at the South Coast Botanic Garden
• Turning 10 months old
• First Christmas
• Snow (almost) at Grapevine
• New Year's Eve
• Turning 11 months old
• First Lohri

While each of these deserves an elaborate post to do justice, I have now realized that I lack the discipline to do that, so a few lines on each will have to do.

There's an empty plot behind the street where we live. During Thanksgiving time it turns into a Pumpkin Patch, and a Christmas Tree patch post that. We knew we won't be able to do much on actual Halloween Day since Prajakta's parents were flying back to India that afternoon, so we visited the patch and took some photos with Avyaan in his specially ordered Halloween onesie.

Back in January 2020, I had conducted a maternity photoshoot for Prajakta at the South Coast Botanic Garden in Palos Verdes, and ever since then, we wanted to create a before and after, or "8 months in vs 8 months out" set. So, when Avyaan turned 8 months old in October, we returned to the garden, dressed up in the same clothes we had worn during the maternity shoot.

अष्टमी was on October 24th and we had a small पूजा at home where we dressed up Avyaan in traditional Indian attire, ended the week-long fast. On October 25th, दशहरा, we worshipped our tools of trade followed up by a visit to the Hanuman Temple.

October 26th being Prajakta's birthday, we decided to visit Joshua Tree National Park. However, we failed to account for the weather and thus, could only venture out of the car for very few minutes. The only time Avyaan came out of the car was at Skull Rock and there too, he burst into tears within seconds due to the strong winds and the cold. We could only take one photo of him, that too without him looking in the camera. Eventually, we drove home post-sunset, in time to celebrate Prajakta's birthday with a cake cutting and dinner before calling it a day.

The pediatrician had been asking us on every visit to have Avyaan sleep in a crib, so we caved in and brought one home. The idea was to have him get used to the crib before the grandparents go back so that we don't have to hold him the whole time he sleeps. The plan failed miserably as months of sleeping in our arms and laps had made him accustomed to the arrangement and even after several months of training attempts, he does not sleep in the crib for long. If it is daytime, he has to be taken in the lap after 45 minutes or so, and at night, he has to be transferred to our bed after a couple of hours.

Halloween day was also the day the grandparents flew back home after spending almost a year with us. As a farewell gift, I made them a collage of their time with us which now hangs in their living room in India.

The 9th month birthday in November was the first time when it was just the three of us celebrating something, but we did video-call everyone.

Shortly after his 9 month birthday, he finally figured out crawling properly, with his head held up. Unfortunately, we don't have a video of the exact moment when he first crawled properly, but here's a small animation Google created from a video we took when he was enamored by Prajakta's दुपट्टा on करवा चौथ evening. Here you can see him getting the movement almost right, but at this time he was still taking only a couple of steps, getting tired, and then sitting down. And there's one more from a couple of weeks later of him chasing the ball around the house.

Diwali, the big daddy of all Indian festivals, is when it hits hardest to not have your family around. It being Avyaan's first, not being together was extra painful for everyone, but we still had some fun decorating the house, making laddoos, lighting up the lamps, and playing with sparklers.

Thanksgiving weekend this time was nothing like other thanksgiving. First of all, we didn't go into any stores, not that many were open this time. Secondly, we didn't even shop much, whatever little we got, was baby stuff. So we drove to Sepulveda Basin and Balboa Park one day, and Santa Barbara the other day. The Rose Garden opposite the Old Mission Santa Barbara was Avyaan's first time encountering grass and he simply launched himself in a crawling spree, forgetting that he was with us.

The moment Thanksgiving is over, it is of course time for Christmas decorations and we live very close to the Del Amo Mall, one of the biggest malls in the US. We didn't do a Santa photo, but we still wanted to show Avyaan the decorations, especially since he had never been to a mall. So, on a weekday, around closing time, to ensure there won't be many people around, we went to the mall and Avyaan was amazed to look at all the lights and tress and reindeer. We also walked around the Candy Cane lane, a neighborhood in Torrance famous for their outlandish holiday decoration. Sometime around Christmas, we also went to the Grove, another mall famous for its Christmas Tree, but it was super crowded, so we only spent a few minutes there.

South Coast Botanic Garden is one of my favorite places, in case you didn't already know that. So, when they announced their GLOW installation, and a discounted price for members, it was a given that we will be visiting. We went in early December and it was a sight to behold. They had magically transformed the garden into an undersea oasis. The cactus garden was especially dazzling as a coral reef. Avyaan did enjoy for a while but then became cranky as it was getting closer to his bedtime. Even though we could have spent more time, the couple of hours we did spend, were enjoyable.

For the 10 month birthday in December, we tried to do some fancy decoration on the cake since December is a pretty festive month. But Avyaan was sleepy during most of the cake cutting and photo session, resulting in drunk looking photos.

Come Christmas time, Prajakta breaks open the additional Christmas decoration, since the Diwali decorations stay up till the New Year. We also got a Santa Suit for Avyaan and visited the Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade on Christmas Day. I have never seen the promenade less crowded!

Los Angeles is not a place one associates with snow, but we have ample high altitude areas within a couple of hours' drive that get plenty of snow. So when it snowed in the mountains, we wanted to visit. Big Bear is usually the first choice for everyone, precisely why we wanted to avoid going there. We had always heard about the Grapevine area on the I5, so decided to visit Frazier Mountain Park. Turns out we weren't the only ones with that idea and by the time we got there, the police had blocked off the area and entry was allowed to local residents only. We drove a few miles further north to Tejon Outlet where we shopped for Avyaan, got some coffee and headed back, stopping at Pyramid Lake and Castaic Lagoon for a few photos.

New Year's Eve was spent at home because by then California was well under lockdown again and all events had been cancelled. So we brought out our party gear from an earlier celebration and listened to the Justin Bieber concert which was free for T-Mobile customers, while Avyaan played drums on the table to his own beat.

The 11 month celebration featured another home made cake decorated with sliced almonds and cashews. By now Avyaan had started understanding that a cake means something special is about to happen.

Lohri being a major Punjabi festival, and this time being Avyaan's first, would have been a huge celebration had we been in India, but there wasn't much of a celebration because:

a) Not many people in the US are aware of Lohri

b) Fire regulations in SoCal wpuldn't allow for an open fire, except with prior permission in designated areas

c) Mom was hospitalized with COVID-19

So, we had a small celebration at home where we used an old cake tin as the enclosure and shredded papers as fuel to have a makeshift bonfire and take some photos while videocalling mom in the hospital and dad at home.

That brings us to today, Prajakta and my 6th wedding anniversary and 3 days before Avyaan's first birthday. With Avyaan's birthday around the corner, the anniversary has taken a backseat and we are getting a feeling that this is going to be a forever thing. I guess that's what being a parent means.

Hopefully my next post won't be 4 months in the making :) 

Climbing up in life, quite literally

In the last couple of days, Avyaan has reached three new milestones.

1. He has two new teeth now. The one to the right of the top incisors is halfway out, while the one on the left has had the tip come out. In the next few days these will come to their full length and I can see signs of more ready to shoot. With every new tooth, he's looking more and more mature. My baby is growing up :) :') 

2. He has pretty much mastered getting up to standing with support, but since yesterday he has been trying to get up without support. He can only manage to lift his bums  off an inch or so off the ground but I'm sure he'll be standing up on his own pretty soon. Once he did get a little further up, but quickly lost balance, rolled back like a skinny teddy bear, and started crying. Not the 'I'm in pain' kind, but the 'I'm not sure what happened and it felt scary, so I'll cry' kind. It took only a few seconds of calming him down for him to return to his usual shenanigans.

3. Today, he quite literally climbed onto the sofa, not from the ground up though. Prajakta was sitting on the floor, folding laundry and keeping the folded clothes on the sofa. As anyone with experience with kids knows, freshly folded clothes are a big flashing bull's eye for kids. So, Avyaan wanted to get to them. However, not being quite tall yet, he couldn't climb it. He soon figured out a way. He stood on Prajakta's knee, supporting himself with her shoulder and then put his knee on the sofa, followed by one hand, the other knee and the hand holding her shoulder in the end. Within seconds the neatly folded stack of clothes was history, but we were too amazed to care. He repeated the show a few times before getting bored and moving on to other things. Too bad I didn't think of taking a video.

Tomorrow he turns 11 months old and hopefully I'll be able to finish drafts of a post I've been meaning to share for more than a month now. 

Stay tuned. 

Completing 8 Months, First ER Visit and Chasing Fall Colours

Only a couple of weeks have passed since my last post, but enough has happened in that time to warrant a new post.

Turning 8 Months Old

First of all, Avyaan turned 8 months old on Sunday, October 11th, 2020 and we baked a cake at home to celebrate. We didn't have any eggs on hand and since we were still tired from the road trip to Big Bear Lake the day before, didn't feel like venturing out to the grocery store just for eggs. So we searched for eggless cake recipes, liked one for a vanilla cake, had all the ingredients for it so decided to try it. Prajakta did a fantastic job of baking it as it turned out delicious and we promptly devoured half of it immediately after the cake cutting. Pictured here is the cake, with vanilla whipped cream frosting and sliced dates for decoration.

Avyaan wore a new dress with a Doraemon doll attachment that दादी (paternal grandmother) had sent for him. We very quickly realized that we keep saving new clothes for special occasions, but he keeps outgrowing them. This dress was no exception and he was just fitting in it. So now onwards, we'll have to just use up his clothes before he outgrows them.

The cake took much longer to bake than indicated in the recipe, which meant it took that much longer to cool and decorate. By the time we were ready, it was almost his bedtime and we had to struggle to get a few good shots and quickly wrap up before he got cranky.

Some new observations:

• He has mastered moving around on the bed. Though not yet a proper crawl, he has his own technique and can go from one end of the bed to the other in a couple of seconds. This now means that the moment he learns to sit up on his own from a lying down position, it will be time for him to move out of our bed into a crib.
• He continues to discover new, more complex sounds and you can now pretend to have a conversation with him. We can't wait till he starts speaking real words!
• He loves being outside! If the front door is open, you can bet that he will constantly keep looking towards it and glance suggestively at you, till you pick him up and take him for a quick round outside.
• If he wants your attention and you're occupied elsewhere, in your laptop, phone, whatever, he will yell at you till you give him the attention he deserves. On the contrary, if he sees a phone or a laptop around, he will try with all his might to get to it.
• He has no interest in playing with his dozen or so toys. He is more interested in mobiles, laptops, remotes, cardboard boxes, clothing labels, or even utensils. Anything is a toy for him, except an actual toy.

A Visit to the ER

A week ago, Sunday, October 3rd, 2020, we got one of the biggest scares in recent history. We had been cooped up at home for a few days and were getting antsy. We had woken up early for a Sunday and on a whim decided to drive up to Santa Barbara for a quick road trip. However, while we were setting things up to leave in a few minutes, Prajakta came out with Avyaan wailing inconsolably. When it comes to crying, Avyaan, thankfully, is a very good child. He doesn't usually cry and when he does it is less of crying and more of an attention-drawing tactic which promptly goes away when he gets what he wants - his bottle, or picking him up to play or other such things. However, there are rare occasions when he truly does cry - getting stomach ache due to gas, getting night terrors, taking a little too long to feed him when he is really hungry. Even on these occasions he usually calms down within a couple of minutes of soothing.

This crying was different.

No amount of consoling would calm him down. I took him in my arms and started looking for any signs of physical injury. I noticed he wasn't moving his left arm. Turns out he was rolling around in bed - something he likes to do a lot these days, and during one of these rolls, when turning from his tummy onto his back, his arm got stuck and must have gotten twisted/pulled the wrong way. Though he is too young to be fracturing bones, we didn't want to take any chances and rushed him to the ER of the same hospital where he was born. I heard my car tires screeching for the first time in a long, long time. We reached the ER around 10 am.

Though COVID-19 protocols allow only one person inside with the child, Prajakta and her mom came along - Prajakta, to calm Avyaan down in the car seat, and Prajakta's mom, to calm Prajakta down while she was panicking.

Once done with the triaging, and a very painful diaper change, I waited, pacing around in the waiting room while Prajakta and her mom stood outside, visibly anxious. The nurse reassured me that I could wait outside and she would call me in when they were ready for us. All this while Avyaan continued to sob on and off, more so every time his arm moved accidentally. Being a curious child - something we agree he got from me - there were moments when he would calm down, lift his head up to look at the new surroundings, and then drop back on my shoulder, in pain.

A few minutes later we were ushered in and a nurse told us that they had ordered X-rays and gave him baby Ibuprofen orally to help with the pain. It was also his feeding time so I gave him the bottle. By the time he was done with his bottle, the pain killer must have started to kick in as he started to calm down and drifted towards sleep. Any accidental arm movement would still result in pain and crying, so even at the risk of a sore arm, I constantly held him in a position that kept him comfortable.

Around noon Avyaan and I were ushered into the room while the ladies continued to wait outside. In the morning panic, Prajakta had forgotten her phone at home, so now there was no way I could keep her updated. I continued to focus on the task at hand - keeping Avyaan as steady as possible, singing to him to keep him calm, and possibly get him to sleep, while waiting for the X-ray. A couple of nurses came and took my statement on what happened, checked his vitals, and went away.

At about 1 pm the X-ray technicians wheeled in the portable X-ray machine, put me in a radiation shield and asked me to hold his arm in position while they took the exposures. Those who know me would be aware that I am no stranger to pain. However, everything I have been through pales in comparison to the blood-curdling scream that Avyaan let out on positioning his arm for the X-ray. The only thing that probably comes close is the pain of seeing my child writhing and the helplessness of being powerless to do anything about it. It must not have taken more than 5 minutes for the whole process, but it seemed like hours.

Avyaan calmed down pretty quickly once the X-ray was done and, almost magically, became perfectly normal, his usual chirpy, playful self, moving both his arms as if nothing had happened. Soon he was observing the room and our surroundings, babbling constantly, as if dictating notes for me to take down. This of course brought a smile on everyone's face in an otherwise gloomy atmosphere of an ER.

A nurse came in a few minutes later to check in on us and informed us that on a preliminary look the X-rays looked fine, but they were waiting for the radiologist to give the final all-clear. She also did a full body check-up for Avyaan, moving all joints, just to make sure we weren't missing anything and left after a couple of minutes.

Relieved that he was feeling fine, I pulled out my phone to see several missed calls from Prajakta's dad, who was alone at home, anxious, and in the dark about everything. I shot him off a quick update and then called up Avyaan's मॉसी (maternal aunt), Aishwarya who talked to him for a few minutes while nurses continued to periodically come in for follow up questions.

In the meantime, Prajakta had figured out a way to reach the nurses' station via the hospital's board line and had sent the ER reception nurse to request for my phone that she could use to call. We spoke on the phone every 30-40 mins while waiting for the X-ray report and Avyaan continued to jump around, excitedly looking at all the machinery in the room.

At about 2 pm it was time for his feed again, so Prajakta sent in a bottle through a nurse. He finished his bottle and, exhausted from all the play, drifted off to sleep in a few minutes. I had barely put him down on the bed, after holding him almost continuously for 4 hours, that a nurse came in, told us everything looked good on the X-ray and since he was no longer in pain, we could leave. The hospital suspected that it was a sprain and the combined effect of the pain meds and rest was making him feel better. As a precaution, they did ask us to schedule a follow up with his pediatrician the next day.

Finally, with the drama over, relieved, we took a shower on getting home. Lots of hugs and kisses later, exhausted, we all took a big nap after some lunch!

The next day, the pediatrician inspected him and told us that, not a sprain, but looking at the report and my description of events, she suspected it was a condition called a Nursemaid's Elbow. Apparently, it is very common in kids as their joints have not fully set, and a slight nudge, twist, pull in the wrong direction can dislocate them, resulting in severe pain. She suspected that all the twisting and turning of the arm during the X-ray may have reset the joint, which is in line with what I observed too at the hospital.

Thankfully nothing major was wrong, but even the mere act of having to go to the ER with an inconsolable infant in your arms is stressful enough and I will not wish it upon anyone.

Chasing Fall Colours

October means fall has started and we were getting jealous of seeing everyone posting their photos of the fall foliage on the US East Coast, Pacific North West, and Canada. Southern California has a lot going for it, but brilliant fall colors are not one of those things. Back in 2018, we had visited the Mammoth Lakes area with a group of friends. We were thinking fo doing a trip with Avyaan too but with COVID-19 around, we don't want to risk a hotel stay, and a day trip to Mammoth Lakes is all but impossible even at ideal times, more so with an infant in tow. So we went in research mode and came to know that Big Bear Lake does offer some fall foliage and we decided to visit on Saturday, October 10th, 2020.

After our failed attempt at visiting Big Bear on Christmas last year, when we had to return from within 10 miles of Big Bear, and the scare of the previous weekend, we were a little skeptical of planning anything, but things turned out well and we reached Boulder Bay Park at about 2 pm. Considering we had started around 11 am after breakfast at Panera Bread, only to use the $3 coupon that we received as a T-Mobile Tuesday promotion. It was time for Avyaan's feed, so did that in the car and then took him out for a stroll at the lakefront. We must have spent about 30 mins there before we drove off further towards the city. We didn't have any set plan so just wandered around when we saw a turn ging in towards the hill with a glimpse of red-yellow fall foliage. On a whim, we turned and drove till we reached the end of the paved road and parked there to take in views of the lake.

While there, we also saw a pigeon-like bird perched upon a dried-up tree. I'm not sure what bird it is, but I'm sure it wasn't a pigeon as I believe pigeons reside only in urban areas. I don't have a long enough lens to get a close up of the bird and this is the best I could get from the longest my 55-200mm lens would go.

If anyone reading this can figure out what bird it is, do let me know. I tried searching but couldn't find any useful info with photos on birds in the Big Bear Lake area.

On our way down, saw a brilliantly red tree in one of the houses and we stopped outside for a few pictures. Though the house looked locked, we were careful not to enter the property and stayed outside. We did get some good shots, even though Avyaan was rarely being cooperative with the photos.

A couple of hundred yards ahead, there was also a patch of yellow leafed trees and I pulled over in an empty-looking yard. However, just as I grabbed my camera to go click a few shots, I heard someone yelling. On turning, I saw a topless, jeans-clad man coming towards me, shouting at me to get off his front yard. I tried explaining that I was going to be only a couple of minutes, he was insistent, so I left because, in Trump country (we saw at least 3 pro-Trump rallies that day), you don't want to argue with random people on the street. Strictly speaking, he was right. Even though unintentional, I had parked over his property, but there has to be a civilized way of letting me know that doesn't involve yelling. Anyway, we had better things to do and pretty trees to look at, so we drove off and decided to a loop of the lake.

I was craving a coffee, and while driving, crossed a shopping complex that was bound to have a coffee shop. However, what compelled me to take a U-turn was a row of brilliantly colored red trees, perfect for a fall photo-op. Driving around the lot to find a coffee shop, we came across another row of bright yellow trees, glowing in the evening light. Coffee could wait!

We took a few photos before we headed towards the red trees witnessed earlier, stopping at a Vons for a restroom break and grabbing a coffee from the Starbucks inside it.

More photos followed with the red trees before we made our way back to our parked car.

All this time Avyaan was taking his afternoon nap but woke up now for his evening feed, so we grabbed the opportunity to take a few photos of him during the golden hour after his feed.

It had started to get cold and not wanting to drive in the mountains after dark, we quickly completed the loop and headed back, stopping only for a couple of shots when the view was really pretty.

We knew we would be too tired to cook on getting home and since Artesia was on the way, we called up Bheema's and ordered dinner to-go.

After a hectic, but fun day, we reached home by a little after 9pm, had our dinner, and crashed, in anticipation of celebrating our little one's 8 months completion the next day.

ਮੈਂ ਹਾਂ ਬਾਲਕ ਬੀਬਾ ਰਾਣਾ (मैं हां बालक बीबा राणा) - A Late 7 Month Check-in

First of all, I missed the 7 months check-in. Avyaan is beyond 7.5 months old now and will be 8 months old in less than 2 weeks, so here are a few updates:

• As his pediatrician noted, he has figured out everyone around him by now. He knows who to look at and make what sounds to get what he wants, reinforcing my belief that kids are born psychologists and know what knobs to turn and which buttons to press. This comes into full view at feeding time when he makes it abundantly clear if he is not liking something that we offer him. But there's no rhyme or reason; one thing that he may be gobbling down for days together, he will refuse to eat without a warning. So now we're experimenting with different types of foods at home as well as different brands of baby foods. 
• He can sit by himself for extended periods now, which means new toys. We got him a stacking toy as well as a blocks game and an alphabet toy. He's still too young to properly play with them, but he knows how to remove the rings, empty the bucket and bang things together to make noises. The purple cylinder in the blocks game is his favorite. More than his toys though, he likes to play with cardboard boxes, clothing labels, our phones, laptops, and various remotes around the house. Since playtime also means putting everything in the mouth, we find ourselves constantly disinfecting and sanitizing stuff at least once a day, oftentimes more. 
  
  
  
• He is learning to communicate. His vocabulary now includes different sounds for hunger, sleep, boredom, tiredness, a dirty diaper, etc. He also uses gestures to communicate - rubbing his eyes and scratching his ears when sleepy, giving a hearty laugh when happy, loud complaining about dressing up post-bath, etc. He even lifts his arms and looks at you longingly with puppy eyes when he wants you to lift him up.
• He still has to figure out the whole crawling thing, but he is mobile enough that he can traverse the entire bed on his own, change directions and navigate to grab objects out of his immediate reach. With increased mobility comes the need to have someone constantly watching him when he's on the bed, or putting him on the floor on his play mat with his toys. He still needs to be supervised all the time though. 
• Teething! He now has two cute little teeth popping up - two lower incisors, so everything, including our fingers, is a chew toy, except the actual chew toys that he has aplenty. Thankfully we haven't yet noticed any discomfort commonly associated with teething, and I hope it remains that way.
• He tries to hold actual conversations now. Of course, he can't yet speak actual words, but that doesn't stop him from trying. There are times when it seems like he is reciting entire paragraphs and we actually try to decipher his babbling. The words may not be there yet, but the tones and expressions are definitely there. You get a general idea of what he wants just by listening to the pitch and volume of his blurbs and observing his facial expressions - excitement, happiness, tiredness, sleepiness, anger, frustration, complaint - there's an entire rainbow of those if you look closely.
• He loves time outside the house, which unfortunately is limited due to COVID-19, but he has figured out that being strapped into his car seat or the stroller means either a drive or a walk in the park and you can see the joy in his face when it lights up in anticipation. When we can't go out, he loves to sit in the patio, watching cars drive by, admiring the various kinds of dogs on a walk, or trying to destroy the small wind chime we have.

Coming to the title of this post. It is an old Punjabi kids' song that I remember my bua (paternal aunt) and grandma singing to my sister when she was a toddler. My mom was singing some Hindi lines to Avyaan on a video call when I recalled the song and quoted a couple of lines. It had been a couple of decades since I had last heard it, so I didn't remember much of it and my mom didn't have any memory of the song. So she then went to the source - my bua and learned it from her. She later sent her own rendition by replacing Kuku (name of the child in the song) with Miththu (My mom's nickname for Avyaan) and embellished it with the sounds Avyaan makes. You can listen to it here:

Aalok Deep Pandit · Main Haan Balak Beeba Rana

Here are the words to the song and my rough translation. If you happen to know the proper translation, do let me know:

मैं हां बालक बीबा राणा, कुक्कू मेरा नाँ (I'm a little child named Kukku)

दादी मेरा मुँह धोवावे, दादा पकडे बाँह (My grandma (paternal) washes my face while my grandpa holds my arms)

नानी मैनूं बात सुनावे, नाना आखे हाँ (My grandma (maternal) tells me stories while my grandpa agrees)

मॉसी मैनूं दूध पियावे, मासण च्योवे गाँ (My aunt (maternal) gives me milk while my uncle milks the cow)

बुआ मेरी चूरी कुट्टे, मार पचाके खां (My aunt (paternal) makes choori (hand crushing and mashing chapati, jaggery, and ghee) which I eat with enthusiasm)