Why are you still sitting here?

3 years have gone by since my last post here. 3 years is a long time, and countless fleeting moments, core memories, firsts that were missed from being recorded on a blog that was meant to record them for posterity. However, I opened this up today to record something profound that happened today.

Relaxed family time is a rarity, and today evening was one such time when the stars aligned and there was no cooking to be done, no remaining work to catch up on, no temper tantrums to address. So the three of us sat together at the dining table, eating guacamole on toast, which qualifies as dinner at our home.

I eat fast, so I was done soon and was just sitting at the table while Prajakta and Avyaan worked on their portions. That's when this conversation happened between Avyaan (A) and me (M):

A: Why are you not eating?

M: Because I am done eating.

A: Then why are you still sitting here?

M: Because I like being with you. You are my family.

A: But you could be doing something else.

M: Like what?

A: Like work.

And... my heart broke a little. The poor kid doesn't recall a time when we were just chilling with each other. While we do spend time with him, a lot of it is individually with one parent, while the other deals with whatever life has thrown our way during that time. Most of it is trivial stuff, some corner to be cleaned, some email or message to respond to, meals to be prepped, clothes to be folded, dishes to be cleaned, and so on, but it all adds up. And when we do spend time together as a unit, it is still undertaking some activity - walking around the park, going to the grocery store, Costco runs, and the sort.

I tried explaining that things are the other way around. While work is important, it exists so that we don't have to worry about existential things and can spend time with each other. Although, in retrospect, I'm not sure if I was trying to provide a life lesson to him, or reminding myself of what's important.

This whole parenting thing is not easy, but moments like these that make you ponder over what your values are, what example you are setting for the little impressionable human who looks up to you, and in the process help make you a better person, make it all worthwhile.

I end this note with the hope that unrushed family time becomes so frequent that next time it happens, he doesn't treat it as an exception.